DUEL DUET

In the original script of "The Brad and Janet Show," this song was sung on the front stops of the Sanitarium, outdoors. Reporters swarmed Farley Flavors when Brad barged through. And some fans have trouble calling this song by the correct name. Some have called it "You're A Loser."

Farley: You're a loser, an abomination in the eyes of any sensitive man
Brad: And you're a blind alley cruiser
        Always heading down a losing strait
        Dreaming that you're screaming at fate
        You're a dead end, dead beat, nowhere mister with a kiss like a Mississippi alligator's sister
Farley: I took as much of you as any man can
        You've lost your heart
Brad: You've lost your cause
Farley: You lost your baby when you lost your balls
        You've lost your mind
        You've lost your grip so say bye-bye
Brad: We lost our mom
        We lost our Dad and if I'm losing you, well, that's too bad
Farley: Well, the best thing you could ever do is die
Brad: You're a failure, a malformation in the guise of many, and also ran
Farley: And you're a weeper and a whiner
        Always treading on the toes of the great
        Generally spreading your weight
        You're a spiteful, hateful, asinine creature
         A pupil with no scruples who knew better than the teacher
Brad: I took as much of you as any man can
Farley: You've lost your heart
Brad: You've lost your cause
Farley: You lost your baby when you lost your balls
        You lost your mind when you lost your grip so say bye-bye
Brad: We've lost our home, our family
        You've lost compassion, now you're losing me
Farley: Well, the best thing you could ever do is die
Brad: Well, the best thing you could ever do is die
Farley: Well, the best thing you could ever do is die.