REVENGE OF THE OLD QUEEN

    Cast List
    Moon Drenched Shores of Transylvania
    Life is Sweet
    Short End of the Stick
    I'm a Mother
    Love at First Sight
    Never Let Your Daughter Date an Alien
    Judy Judy Judy
    I Want to Get My Own Back
    No Hiding Place
    Little Old Heart Stopping Me

  --=={{****************************************************************}}==--

This is a first draft of the official sequel to The Rocky Horror Picture Show.

  I feel a bit awkward distributing this.  With the RHPS screenplay and the
Brad and Janet Show and all of the others, those were things that had already
been presented to the public in some official form or another.  With this, it
seems a bit like telling the punchline to somebody else's joke at a party.
Or, more accurately, peeking in on your blind date in the shower.  In other
words, you ain't supposed to see that yet.

  Unfortunately, though, it seems very unlikely that this will ever be made
into a movie, and I feel that this is unfortunate.  It works well as a proper
followup to Rocky Horror, and is actually quite entertaining to read.  I
balance my feelings of sleaziness with distributing this by telling myself
that fans of Richard O'Brien and Rocky Horror would be missing out if they
never got a chance to experience it.  I /do/ have the utmost respect for Mr.
O'Brien, and I hope he realizes that I'm trying to honor, not cash in on, him.

  Having said that, I would like it that these paragraphs be included whenever
and wherever this script is reproduced.  I will also ask that this never be
sold for profit or otherwise exploited in any way.

  As to the script, when typing it in, I kept fairly faithful to the
capitalization and punctuation.  The spacing of the dialogue and songs are
fairly exact, but I did condense the spacing of the staging directions a tad.
I'm not sure exactly when this was originally written, but the context of the
setting would suggest between 1988 and 1990.  I also can't verify that this
/was/ written by Richard O'Brien.  That is, the hand of God didn't place this
in my lap.  However, if you compare it with the original RHS script and the
screenplay for RHPS, you'll probably agree with me that, if this isn't
authentic, it's a damn good forgery.

Thank you to my anonymous source for providing this; you know who you are.

Jason Alan "P7A77" Pfaff
p7a77@rhps.com
11th January, 1997

  --=={{****************************************************************}}==--
 
 

                                       THE
                            ROCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOW
                                    PART TWO
 
 

                          THE REVENGE OF THE OLD QUEEN
 

                          A FIRST DRAFT SCREEN PLAY OF
                             - A MUSICAL FOR FILM -

                                      with
                                 BOOK AND LYRICS
                                       by
                                 RICHARD O'BRIEN
                                       and
                                      MUSIC
                                       by
                                 RICHARD HARTLEY
 

                                   TRANSCRIBED
                               WITHOUT PERMISSION
                                       BUT
                               WITH GREAT RESPECT
                                       BY
                    JASON ALAN "P7A77" PFAFF - p7a77@rhps.com
 

                                   PRODUCED BY
                           LOU ADLER AND MICHAEL WHITE
                                       FOR
                              TWENTIETH CENTURY FOX
 

  -----
 
 

CAST LIST

THE OLD QUEEN:      A very large ROYAL grandmother who, although dying, is not
                    going quietly into the dark night.  She is not to be
                    crossed and not to be argued with.  She resembles an
                    Elizabeth Taylor look-a-like that's been drowned for a
                    week or three.  Don't step on her winkle-pickers.

STEVE MAJORS:       He's a young(ish) guy who's trying to find the Aliens that
                    were responsible for his elder brother going off the rails
                    some years ago and winding up as a bottomless go-go dancer
                    in Vegas.  Steve is a very serious young man who very
                    rarely sees the funny side of anything, including himself.
                    No offense to Mormons, but he'd fit right into their
                    missionary 'look'.

LORD DE LORDY:      First cousin to the Old Queen and next in like (he hopes)
                    for the Royal Deck Chair.  He's overfed, overweight,
                    overdressed and oversexed.  He flatters himself that he is
                    a cross between Errol Flynn and Victoria Principal, hence
                    the pencil moustache plus thighboots over his fishnets.

GENERAL RIFF RAFF:  A bad tempered, mean spirited opportunist, who is also the
                    unknown (but suspected) killer of his own sister and the
                    Old Queen's only begotten son, the late Frank 'N' Furter.

RAY AMMBO:          Head of a U.S. Agency which investigates UFO and
                    extraterrestrial activity on Earth.  He's really into
                    expensive designer suits, ties, shoes and aftershave in a
                    big way.  He is also the possible father of Sonny.

SONNY AMMBO:        Sonny is an outrageous, smart, good-looking, charming
                    teenager.  He is completely without morals or compassion.
                    Everybody adores him and he sees no reason why he should
                    be any different.

JUDITH BRANKMIRE:   Judy is a beautiful, rather over-endowed young woman who
                    is looking for Mister Right.  Luckily for her and us, she
                    meets him in the shape of Lord De Lordy.  She's fun, she's
                    smart, she's a honey-pot.

JANET WEISS:        She's around 35 or so, but looks at least 50.  She drinks,
                    smokes, dyes her hair, hooks and watches television,
                    probably all at the same time, she's a mess and she's also
                    possibly Sonny's real mother.

MARY LOU:           Ray's bright-eyed, longhaired, glossy-lipped, short-
                    skirted secretary.  Like Ray, she is also from the South.
                    She ain't smart, but she sure is purty.

VARIOUS TRANNIES:   Subjects of the Old Queen.

VARIOUS EARTHLINGS: Hotel staff, guests, diner workers and customers, etc.
 

  -----
 

     We OPEN with the TITLES and a SONG which is sung by SONNY.  Our visual
     image is of a journey through space from Earth.  It is very obviously
     artificial and nothing more than a promotion video for the song.

     We see the PLANET EARTH.
     We travel through the MILKY WAY.
     We pass the outer and well known PLANETS.
     We hit DEEP SPACE.
     We approach an unknown PLANET which has no sun, only a moon.
     We skim its surface.  It's quite gothic, natural formations appear to
     resemble tomb-stones.
     We follow a coast-line, the shore is black, the sea also.
     We enter a CAVERN and travel along TWISTING TUNNELS.
     We pass through OPULENT but FUNEREAL SALONS.
     All images hint of sex and death.
     We travel along ANOTHER CORRIDOR and finally stop before a GOTHIC-ARCHED
     DOOR.

     The song ends.

     We then CROSS FADE back to our first image of the PLANET EARTH.  This
     time however it looks REAL, and in a blur of speed we repeat the journey
     we've just made, only this time it all looks very real.  This will be
     underscored with both sounds and music which will, relate to, and round-
     off, SONNY's song.
 
 

     "THE MOON DRENCHED SHORES OF TRANSYLVANIA"

SONNY (V.O.):

     LET ME TAKE YOU TO A PLACE OF SEDUCTION
     WHERE HEARTS ARE LIGHT BECAUSE IT'S NIGHT ALL DAY
     LET ME HELP YOU BREAK THE CHAINS OF SELF DESTRUCTION
     I'LL START ENLIGHTENING YOU RIGHT AWAY.

     SO IF YOU'RE HOT TO SPOT WHAT'S WHAT
     YOU' BETTER GET A BIT OF WHAT THEY'VE GOT
     WHERE THEY DON'T LIKE A LITTLE BUT A LOT OF EROTOMANIA
     YOU'LL KNOW BLISS AS SOON AS YOU GET YOURS
     AS WE KISS ON THE MOON DRENCHED SHORES OF TRANSYLVANIA

     IF YOU DELIGHT IN CANDLE LIGHT AND THE INFERNAL
     I KNOW THIS DANGEROUS LITTLE RENDEZVOUS
     AND IF YOU CATCH A BITE WHERE NIGHT IS ETERNAL
     YOU'LL FEEL A STRANGENESS COMING OVER YOU.

     SO IF YOU SAY (YOU WANNA) STAY AWAY
     FROM THAT SAME OLD GREY MAYDAY AFTER DAY
     AND YOUR GAME IS TO PLAY AND PLAY THEN I CAN'T BLAME YAH
     AND SO WE'LL STAND WHERE THE TOMB ENDURES
     HAND IN HAND ON THE MOON DRENCHED SHORES OF TRANSYLVANIA.

     (ANTHEM)

     CLAYMATION GROUP first time around, TRANSYLVANIANS second time.

     STAY VAIN IN TRANSYLVANIA
     STAY SANE IN TRANSYLVANIA
     REMAIN IN TRANSYLVANIA
     IT'S TIME AND MONEY WELL SPENT
     YOU ONLY LOSE RESENTMENT
     AND SOON CONTENTMENT COULD BE YOURS
     ON THE SANDS OF THE MOON DRENCHED SHORES OF TRANSYLVANIA.

     LET ME SING FOR YOU THE SONG OF THE SIRENS
     IT'S NOT UNKNOWN TO MAKE A GROWN MAN CRY
     WHY DON'T WE SWING IT WITH THE MYRAS AND THE MYRONS
     WHOAH MAN LIKE ONAN YOU'LL BE HOME AND DRY.

     SO IF YOU'RE CHASING AN UNCHASTE DISGRACE
     AN ANGEL FACE THAT'S ENCASED IN LACE
     WELL OUT IN SPACE THERE'S THE PERFECT PLACE TO FAN YOUR MANIA
     COME AND SEE WHAT THE GLOOM ADORES
     HERE WITH ME ON THE MOON DRENCHED SHORES OF TRANSYLVANIA.

     We stand before the GOTHIC-ARCHED DOOR again, only this time it's real.

     It swings open and we enter the dark room beyond.
 

1.   INT.  RIFF RAFF'S CHAMBERS.  ETERNAL NIGHT.

     This is another of those strange, funeral decors.  Again, natural rock
     suggests imprisoned monsters of Hell and sumptuous drapes suggest an
     evil decadence.  RIFF RAFF is before a coffin and he runs his hands over
     it in a sensual manner.

                              RIFF RAFF
                    Oh why, oh why did you make me
                    kill the only thing I ever loved
                    in my entire life, you???  You
                    drove me mad with jealousy, cut me
                    to the quick with your
                    shamelessness, how could you even
                    look at another, when I was all
                    you ever needed?  And such a
                    miserable excuse for a life-form
                    as De Lordy as well.  Oh Magenta,
                    my beloved sister, flesh of my
                    flesh, delight of my life, forgive
                    me you bitch.

     It may be worth pointing out at this juncture, that RIFF is more than a
     little loopy.

     He lies on top of the coffin and begins kissing the head end.

                              RIFF RAFF
                    It'll be different this time my
                    darling, I've changed, I'm not
                   like I used to be, I'm fun, we'll
                    have lots of fun together, you'll
                    see, it'll be just like it was
                    right at the beginning, when we
                    were children, we can play doctors
                    and nurses.  Oh my love, my
                    angel, you know what I want, don't
                    you?  Yes, yes, I do and now, now ...

     He slides off and starts to open the lid.

     The door to the room opens and the light from beyond falls across the
     coffin and catches RIFF looking hunted, guilty and furious.

                              RIFF RAFF
                    And what, the expletive very much
                    included, fuck do you want?

     We PAN AROUND and see a very SMALL PERSON dressed in the manner of this
     strange Planet (which as we all know by now) is the Planet of Transsexual
     in the Galaxy of Transylvania.

                              SMALL PERSON
                    My apologies General Riff Raff,
                    but the Old Queen requires your
                    presence immediately.

                              RIFF RAFF
                    The Old Queen???

                              SMALL PERSON
                    Yes, General, the Big Furter
                    herself.

     RIFF snarls with rage and smashes his fist into the side of the coffin, a
     cloud of red steam escapes with a wistful sigh.  He withdraws his
     bloodied forearm and stares at it in disbelief.

                              RIFF RAFF
                    Now see what you made me do!!!
                    I'm sorry, my darling, but I'll
                    hurry right back and make it up to
                    you.

                              SMALL PERSON
                    General, the Old Queen is waiting.

     RIFF screams at this tiny creature with every ounce of hate that he can
     muster.

                              RIFF RAFF
                    Yes, yes I know the Old Queen's
                    waiting, you told me and I'm
                    coming, all right?

     He looks straight into camera.

                              RIFF RAFF
                    Right now.

     WE CUT TO
 

2.   INT.  THE OUTER OFFICE OF RAY AMMBO.  WASHINGTON D.C.  DAY.

     We see STEVE MAJORS coming along the outer corridor and swing into MARY
     LOU's secretarial office.  As we do so, we hear STEVE's thoughts in VOICE
     OVER.

                              STEVE (V.O.)
                    It all began for me the day that I
                    heard a song on the radio about
                    the moon drenched shores of
                    Transylvania and things started to
                    fall into place.  So I headed on
                    over to my Chief's office in order
                    that I might tell him of my
                    suspicions and about a plan I'd
                    come up with which might put a
                    smile on his face, after all, he
                    was the big banana and with luck I
                    thought that I might be able to
                    pull it off.

     MARY LOU looks up from her desk as STEVE enters.

                              STEVE
                    Is the Chief in?

                              MARY LOU
                    He is, but he's real busy right
                    now.

                              STEVE
                    This is too important to wait.

     He waves what looks like a rolled up film poster at her, it is exactly
     that.  Then, he heads towards RAY's inner sanctum.

                              MARY LOU
                    Hey!  You can't go in there.

     It's too late.  He's already in there.  MARY LOU chases after him.

     Now RAY's office is a real sight.  It is full of erotica in all forms,
     paintings, bronzes, books, etc., and on the huge T.V. screen there is a
     fairly explicit strip act playing and what's even worse (yes, it gets
     worse) the STRIPPER appears to have an extra something that doesn't
     belong to the female form.

     RAY is bent over his desk doing something with a rolled up dollar bill
     and some white powder.  As the door opens he stands up real quick, the
     dollar still stuck in his nostril.  The mound of powder, which is huge,
     goes everywhere.

     RAY is dressed that very baggy, expensive Italian designer look.  He's in
     his forties and is given to wearing his hair in a pony tail.

                              RAY
                    Who in the Hell are you?

                              STEVE
                    Agent Steve Majors, Chief, I have
                    to talk to you.

                              RAY
                    Not now, Agent Majors, I've got a
                    terrible headache, the only thing
                    that cures it is this ... ah ...
                    C17 H21 O4 N ... I's pretty hard
                    to get and costs a fortune.

     He aims the remote switch at the T.V. screen and our transsexual STRIPPER
     disappears.

                              RAY
                    I don't know what's gone wrong
                    with afternoon television these
                    days, can't get the script writers
                    I expect.

                              STEVE
                    I want to talk to you about that
                    song that's being played
                    everywhere, Chief, The Moon
                    Drenched Shores of Transylvania.

     RAY's mood changes immediately, he smiles broadly and glows with what can
     only be pride.

                              RAY
                    Why didn't you say so, Agent
                    Majors?  Hell, let me call you
                    Steve, you did say Steve, didn't
                    you? ... Mary Lou, why don't you
                    go pour us a drink each and while
                    you're at it, see if you can
                    rustle me up some more of my
                    headache powder ... it's a great
                    song that song, Steve ...
                         (he sings)
                    LET ME TAKE YOU TO A PLACE OF
                    SEDUCTION.
                    Hell I knew it was going to be a
                    hit the first time I heard it.  I
                    said, "Sonny, that one's gonna
                    make it all the way to the number
                    one slot", and boy, was I right.

                              STEVE
                    You mean you know the singer
                    personally, Chief?

                              RAY
                    Know him??? I should say I do.
                    Why I've known him all his life.
                    He's my boy.

     We go to a CLOSE UP on STEVE, he's astonished by this news.

     We hear the double beat of a bass drum, like a heartbeat and CUT TO
 

3.   EXT.  A STREET IN DOWN TOWN WASHINGTON.  DAY.

     We see SONNY for the first time.  He looks a treat.  He has high-heel
     shoes and fishnet stockings on.  On top he wears a leather jacket.  His
     face is heavily and beautifully made up.  He trucks down the street
     without a care in the world.  He is without shame or embarrassment.

     We CUT BACK TO
 

4.   INT.  RAY'S OFFICE.  WASHINGTON D.C.  DAY.

                              RAY
                    Yes sir, I sure am proud of that
                    boy of mine, he's never given me
                    one day's trouble in his life.

     STEVE swallows hard, he's on fairly thin ice here and he'll have to watch
     his step.

                              STEVE
                    Yes, I'm sure he's a wonderful
                    son, Chief ... I'm just a little
                    surprised that he's singing a song
                    like that.

                              RAY
                    Why???  What's wrong with it???
                    Are you some kind of music critic
                    or something???  I hope I didn't
                    get you wrong, boy.

                              STEVE
                    Ah no ... It's just that, well, as
                    Chief of this Agency and as ah ...
                    this agency ... is set up to
                    investigate Aliens and U.F.O.
                    activity ... well I thought you
                    should know that what Sonny, your
                    boy, is singing about, is true.

     RAY studies STEVE for a while.  STEVE sweats a bit.  Then RAY talks and
     this time it is both quiet and cold.

                              RAY
                    I think you'd better explain
                    yourself, Agent Majors, and I also
                    think that it better be good.

                              STEVE
                         (unrolls the film poster)
                    Have you heard of this film,
                    Chief?  It's called.

                              RAY
                    The Rocky Horror Show .. I've
                    course I've heard of it.  My
                    boy, Sonny, loves it, he used to
                    go all the time.

                              STEVE
                    So did a lot of other kids, Chief.
                    They still do, but what they don't
                    know is that it's a true story ...
                    There are aliens amongst us, they
                    call themselves Trannies and all
                    they want is for us to become
                    slaves to sensation.

     We hear that bass drum give that loud heartbeat again.  And we CUT TO
 

5.   EXT.  THE STREET IN DOWNTOWN WASHINGTON.  DAY.

     SONNY starts to sing a song that will go something or other like this.

SONNY:

     LIFE IS SWEET ON THE STREET
     WHEN YOU'RE TURNING ON THE HEAT
     AND BURNING FOR SOME INDISCREET DEMENTIA
     AN EPISODE IN THE ROAD
     CAN CAUSE YOU TO EXPLODE
     AND THEN SAY 'WELL I'M BLOWED!  HAS HEAVEN SENT YAH?'
     IT MAYBE HARD WHEN YOU'VE STARRED
     TO A HATEFUL BOULEVARD
     TO DISREGARD THE DETRIMENTAL CENSURE
     JUST SKIP AND POST
     HAVE A LAUGH
     FLIP THOSE FOES YOUR AUTOGRAPH
     AS YOU TRIP THE PRIMROSE PATH
     TO FRESH ADVENTURE.

     IF YOU TIC TACK DOWN THE TRACK
     AND RUN SMACK INTO A PACK
     OF GUYS WITH SOME WISE-CRACK AND NO ABSTENTIONS
     TO REMAIN UP IN THAT LANE
     CAN BE REALLY QUITE A STRAIN
     BUT THEY'LL BE RIGHT AS RAIN WITH YOUR ATTENTIONS
     A HAIRY MALE ON THE TRAIL
     IS A KIND OF FAIRY TALE
     REMINDING YOU'RE FRAIL WITH HIS DIMENSIONS
     SO HISS AND SPIT
     KISS AND TELL
     AND REMEMBER THIS BIT WELL
     THAT THEY PAVED THE ROAD TO HELL
     WITH GOOD INTENTIONS.

     LET ME SAY, SHOULD YOU STRAY
     DOWN THAT FETED GREAT WHITE WAY
     STILL PRAYING FOR THE DAY YOU PLAY THE PALAIS
     FLOUT YOUR PRIDE AND STAY OUTSIDE
     DON'T GET TAKEN FOR A RIDE
     FORGET IT NOT THAT YOU'RE A HOT TAMALE
     HOCK YOUR JOCK, SHOCK IN A FROCK
     GET THEM ROCKING ROUND THE BLOCK
     A FRILLY REALLY MAKES THEM DILLY DALLY
     YES I REPEAT
     IT'S A TREAT
     WHEN YOU'VE RISEN FROM DEFEAT
     (TO) FIND THE RHYTHM OF THE STREET'S
     RIGHT UP YOUR ALLEY.

          (SONG TO BE FINISHED LATER)

     By the time he's finished it, he's probably made love to a few
     bystanders, beaten up the odd red-neck and wound up in the window of a
     lingerie shop with a couple of cops and several teenaged girls.

     We CUT TO
 

6.   INT.  RAY'S OFFICE.  WASHINGTON D.C.  DAY.

                              RAY
                    I've been Chief of this agency for
                    more years than I care to
                    remember, Agent Majors and I've
                    never seen a U.F.O. or an Alien
                    that didn't turn out to be
                    something quite normal and
                    understandable.  And, another
                    thing, do you really think for one
                    minute that monsters from outer
                    space could ever corrupt the
                    people of this great nation?  Do
                    you think that the young people
                    would be weak enough, foolish
                    enough, to be taken in by a
                    proselytizing extraterrestrial
                    with a mouth full of sweet talk
                    and a dick that swings both
                    ways? ...

     MARY LOU enters with three drinks and a huge brown paper grocery sack
     full of white powder.  She puts everything down except for her drink,
     sits down and crosses her legs.

     STEVE attempts to say a few words to RAY.

                              STEVE
                    But ... I ...

                              RAY
                    Take my boy for example, he's a
                    lovely boy

                              MARY LOU
                    He surely is and that's the truth.

                              RAY
                    He's a rock star, making his way
                    in an industry that's rife with
                    temptation, but does he lack moral
                    principles?  No he does not and
                    why?  Because he knows right from
                    wrong that's why.  Sure, he
                    dresses a little crazy, but he's
                    young and in show business, and so
                    what if he sings strange songs
                    about other planets.  Sci Fi and
                    Gothic horror are in, but, don't
                    try and tell me that this Planet,
                    this Transylvania really exists or
                    I'm going to have to start calling
                    for the men in white coats.

     We CUT TO
 

7.   INT.  A DIMLY LIT CORRIDOR.  PLANET OF T.S.  ETERNAL NIGHT.

     The SMALL PERSON and RIFF snake along the corridor.  We hear the sighs,
     moans and groans of unseen Transylvanians drowning in pleasure.  RIFF
     covers his ears.  We lose the sounds with his action and we hear now the
     thump of his heartbeat, followed by a dramatic drum fill.  RIFF is
     nervous and unhappy.

     We CUT TO
 

8.   INT.  RAY'S OFFICE.  WASHINGTON D.C.  DAY.

                              RAY
                    I'm well aware that there are a
                    lot of people unable to dig
                    themselves out of the shit that
                    they've buried themselves into,
                    but let's face it, there's riff
                    raff everywhere these days.
 

9.  INT.  FURTHER ALONG THE CORRIDOR.  PLANET OF T.S.  ETERNAL NIGHT.

     The 'HEARTBEAT' has under scored the last scene and now it becomes a full
     rhythm section.  RIFF sings.

     "SHORT END OF THE STICK"

RIFF RAFF:

     THERE'S SOMETHING GOING DOWN
     OVER SOMETHING THAT'S COME UP
     SO I'D BETTER GO INTO REMOTE
     BECAUSE THEY'RE ALWAYS AT MY THROAT
     TRYING TO MAKE THEIR STORY STICK
     I WAS BORN TO JOIN THE GENTRY
     BORN TO HAVE THE HORN OF PLENTY
     BUT THE THING THAT MAKES ME SICK
     IS I ALWAYS GET THE SHORT-END OF THE STICK

     SOMEONE'S HOLDING COURT
     OR SOMETHING OF THAT SORT
     AND THE QUESTIONS WILL BE COMING FAST AND THICK
     SO I'D BETTER TAKE THE STAND
     WITH SOME ACES IN MY HAND
     (OR THERE'LL BE) TROUBLE THAT'S AS SUBTLE AS A BRICK
     I WAS BORN TO RULE, NOT FOLLOW
     THERE ARE THINGS THAT I CAN'T SWALLOW
     BUT THE THING THAT MAKES ME SICK
     IS, I ALWAYS GET THE SHORT END OF THE STICK.

     DRUNK WITH POWER, THEY SKIP WITH JOY
     HOUR BY HOUR I'M THEIR WHIPPING BOY
     THEY'RE SO SADISTIC THEY'LL STEAL YOUR LIPSTICK
     AND TELL YOU THAT YOU'RE MASOCHISTIC
     I GET NO THRILLS ON BITTER PILLS THEY MAKE ME SICK
     AND I ALWAYS GET THE SHORT END OF THE STICK.

TRANNIES/SMALL PERSON/GUARDS:

     HE WAS BORN TO JOIN THE GENTRY

RIFF RAFF:

     BORN TO HAVE THE HORN OF PLENTY

OTHERS:

     HE WAS BORN TO RULE NOT FOLLOW

RIFF RAFF:

     THERE ARE THINGS I JUST CAN'T SWALLOW

OTHERS:

     BUT THE THING THAT REALLY MAKES HIM SICK

RIFF RAFF:

     IS, I ALWAYS GET THE SHORT END OF THE STICK.

     SOMEONE HAS TO LOSE
     SO THAT SOMEONE ELSE CAN WIN
     IT'S A CHRONIC TRAGICOMIC KIND OF TRICK
     IF I HAD A BIT OF SENSE
     I'D JUST SIT HERE ON THE FENCE
     AND PRETEND TO BE AN EMPTY HEADED HICK
     (BUT) I WAS BORN TO BE THE VICTIM
     BORN A PAWN WITHOUT THE SYSTEM
     THAT'S THE THING THAT MAKES ME SICK
     YES, I ALWAYS GET THE SHORT END OF THE STICK.

     We CUT TO
 

10.  INT.  RAY'S OFFICE.  WASHINGTON D.C.  DAY.

     Same three people as before.  We OPEN with a CLOSE UP on STEVE.

                              STEVE
                    But Chief!  You've got to believe
                    me ...

     RAY and MARY LOU snigger a little.

                              STEVE
                    ... They've got a safe-house in a
                    place called Fresno, over an
                    electrical store, this time we're
                    really on to them.

                              RAY
                    Oh really?  How d'you come by
                    this information, Agent Majors?

                              STEVE
                    I was going through the files and
                    I found a folder marked The Denton
                    Affair, it made for really
                    interesting reading, chief, and
                    pencilled in the cover it said,
                    Transylvanian Safe House, then it
                    gave the address, and I've checked
                    and it's still there.

                              RAY
                    The Denton Affair was a long time
                    ago ... ah ... Steve, sure, the
                    address in Fresno might check out,
                    but Hell, anybody could be living
                    there now.

                              STEVE
                    Let me check it out, Chief.

                              RAY
                    What d'you think, Mary Lou?
                    Should we let Steve here check
                    Fresno out for monsters from outer
                    space?

                              MARY LOU
                    I don't know, Ray, it could be
                    kind of dangerous.

     RAY becomes mock serious for a moment.

                              RAY
                    All right, Agent Majors, it's just
                    possible that this could be the
                    big break that we've been waiting
                    for.  I'm going to put a priority
                    code on this one ...

     He picks up the phone.

                              RAY
                    ... It's Ray Ammbo here, Head of
                    the Bureau of Investigation into
                    U.F.O's and all other related
                    subjects.  I want to be put
                    straight through to Camp David,
                    and I mean now.

     STEVE's jaw drops and he gives a low whistle of approval ... This is
     serious stuff going down here.

                              RAY
                    Hello David, send me an Agency car
                    round to the front of the
                    building, and make it the best.

     He hangs up.

     We CUT TO
 

11.  INT.  THE ANTE CHAMBER.  OLD QUEEN'S PALACE.  ETERNAL NIGHT.

     RIFF and the SMALL PERSON enter.  A VERY TALL THIN SERVANT, also dressed
     in Transylvanian black, comes from the doorway that leads out to the moon
     drenched shore.

                              SMALL PERSON
                    General Riff Raff to see the Old
                    Queen.

     The TALL THIN SERVANT gives RIFF a haughty and disdainful look and sniffs
     in a snooty manner.  RIFF returns his rudeness with an arrogant sneer.

     The TALL THIN one exits into the Alien night that lies beyond the door.

     We CUT TO
 

12.  EXT.  THE STREET.  OUTSIDE H.Q.  WASHINGTON.  DAY.

     RAY and MARY LOU are seeing STEVE off in the Company car which is heavily
     marked with tell tale Agency logos and give away identification.

                              STEVE
                    Shouldn't I fly?

                              RAY
                    What, and let them know that
                    you're coming.  How
                    unprofessional can you get, Steve.

                              STEVE
                    Sorry, Chief.

                              RAY
                    I'm going to get one of our top
                    operators out on the coast to meet
                    you there and give you all the
                    help you need on this assignment,
                    Steve.

                              STEVE
                    I like to work on my own, Chief.

                              RAY
                    You'll follow orders, Agent
                    Majors.  Am I understood?

                              STEVE
                    Yes, Chief.

                              RAY
                    Okay, Steve, good boy, and Steve,
                    be careful, you hear?  Don't
                    trust anybody.

     RAY and MARY LOU smile at STEVE in a phoney manner.  They wave goodbye
     and STEVE drives off.

     As the car moves out into the traffic and is some way away from them,
     SONNY walks into frame.

                              SONNY
                   Hi Pop, Hi Mary Lou.

                              BOTH
                    Sonny ...

                              SONNY
                    Who's the square in the car?

                              RAY
                    One of my finest agents, a real
                    asshole.  Let's go back to the
                    office and party.

     SONNY puts his arm around MARY LOU's waist.

                              SONNY
                    Sounds good to me.

                              MARY LOU
                    Me too.

     We CUT TO
 

13.  INT.  THE ANTE CHAMBER.  THE PALACE OF THE OLD QUEEN.  ETERNAL NIGHT.

     RIFF and the SMALL PERSON wait in a funereal silence.  RIFF is fuming
     with impatience.

                              RIFF RAFF
                    How much longer is she going to
                    keep me waiting?  That's what I'd
                    like to know.

     The SMALL PERSON says nothing but gives him a look which says that RIFF
     would be best served by watching his tongue.  The truth of the matter is
     that the thought of RIFF getting drawn and quartered is not without its
     attractions to him either.

     We CUT TO
 

14.  MONTAGE

     A MONTAGE of SHOTS of STEVE's car hurtling through DAYS and NIGHTS,
     RAIN and SUNSHINE, PUNCTURES and TRAFFIC COPS, etc.

     This of course gives us the passing of time.

     We CUT BACK TO
 

13.  INT.  THE ANTE CHAMBER.  THE PALACE OF THE OLD QUEEN.  ETERNAL NIGHT.

     It's the same as before, nothing has changed.  The SMALL PERSON yawns.

     We CUT TO
 

15.  INT.  STEVE'S CAR.  (TRAVELLING SHOT).  DAY.

     STEVE's driving and trying to look cool.  We see that he's even wearing
     those little leather driving gloves with the backs cut out of them, plus
     of course, those oh-so-important sun-glasses.  Let's face it, he's a hunk
     and a half.

                              STEVE (V.O.)
                    The car was the tops and it had
                    all the high tech engineering that
                    those little yellow guys are
                    famous for.  Hell, I'm as
                    American as the next guy but let's
                    face it.  I want a car that's
                    compact, stylish and gives me big
                    miles per gallon, plus all the
                    optional extras, without putting a
                    dent in my pocket.

     The car phone goes - STEVE picks it up.

                              STEVE
                    Hi, this is Agent Steve Majors on
                    special assignment, I'm not here
                    right now, but if you'd care to
                    leave your name and number after
                    the tone - I'll get right back to
                    you -
                         (he whistles the tone)

     He listens.  It's his contact, one JUDITH BRANKMIRE.

                              JUDY (V.O.)
                    Hello, ah ... this is Agent
                    Brankmire, I'm your contact in
                    Fresno, listen Steve, it's Judith,
                    Judy, Judy Brankmire?  We went to
                    school together back in Denton,
                    way back when.  I guess you won't
                    remember me, I'm 5 to 6 feet tall
                    with sandy, brown/blonde hair,
                    about 110 pounds, well, I was
                    then.  I've picked up a few since
                    then maybe, but it's not easy with
                    this job, you tend to eat a lot of
                    junk food ...

     Her voice FADES DOWN and STEVE's thoughts FADE UP.

                              STEVE (V.O.)
                    Judy Brankmire?  Judy Brankmire??
                    Maybe I did remember her, sexy
                    little brunette, with a cute
                    little pushed-up button nose,
                    tight buns and a pair of tits you
                    could die for, then again, maybe I
                    didn't.
                    I was about to let her know that
                    the answer phone scam was an old
                    security trick of mine, when I
                    realised that maybe she wasn't who
                    she claimed to be, so I just let
                    her keep on talking, something she
                    was pretty good at.

                              JUDY (V.O.)
                    ... anyway, Steve, the thing is,
                    I've managed to get a short lease
                    on the apartment you've been sent
                    to check out ...

     We CUT TO
 

16.  INT.  EARTH.  THE "SAFE HOUSE" APARTMENT.  FRESNO.  DAY.

     JUDY sits on the sofa with the phone in her hand.

                              JUDY
                    ... It's been unoccupied for so
                    long that I managed to talk the
                    servicing company into letting me
                    take it for the month.  No one's
                    been near the place for years,
                    it's like a time warp here.  I'll
                    wait for you here and see you
                    later tonight some time, maybe we
                    can catch up on old times,
                    Steve ...

     We CUT TO
 

17.  EXT.  EARTH.  CAR.  DAY.

                              JUDY (V.O.)
                    ... I'd like that.

     The call ends.

     STEVE hangs up as well.

                              STEVE
                    Yeah, me too, Judy Brankmire, me
                    too.

     We leave STEVE exuding pheromones and ...

     CUT TO
 

18.  EXT.  THE OLD QUEEN'S BEACH.  ETERNAL NIGHT.

     RIFF walks across the dark sand towards a black gothic deck chair.  We
     see protruding from one side of it, a rather hefty leg encased in ripped
     silk stockings.  The skin seen through these rips, is a deathly white.
     The TALL THIN SERVANT announced RIFF as he comes alongside.

                              SERVANT
                    The General Riff Raff, your lace
                    curtain, your most excellent
                    Furter.

     At last we see her and she's an incredible sight to behold.  Skin as
     white as snow.  Hair black as pitch.  Dressed in a black negligee,
     beneath which her vast body is dressed in a regal girdle.  On her head
     she wears a tiara type crown made up of lightning streaks.  Her small,
     round, white frosted glasses gaze up at RIFF.  She removes them to reveal
     extremely heavily make-up eyes.

     RIFF avoids her gaze and studies the moon, the sand, the ink-black
     glutinous sea that gloops like an ocean of oil at the edge of the iron
     sand, in fact anything.

                              RIFF
                    You wished to see me?  Old Queen,
                    Silk Stocking, Lace Curtain, Big
                    Furter.

                              OLD QUEEN
                    I would never wish to actually see
                    you, Riff Raff - The sight of you
                    is like a finger down the throat.
                    But I have a request - An order -
                    A royal order.

                              RIFF RAFF
                    I would be proud and honoured to
                    serve you, my fleshy Queen.  What
                    is it you wish of me?

                              OLD QUEEN
                         (she screams)
                    I want you to return to Earth and
                    find my little darling boy and
                    bring him back to me before I take
                    that great leap.

                              COURTIERS
                    Oh no, Big Furter, you will never
                    die ... etc.

     RIFF looks decidedly furtive as indeed he might seeing as how he has
     blasted the late FRANK 'N' FURTER with a laser until all life had fled
     from that naughty boy's mortal frame.

                              OLD QUEEN
                    Hit the trail, Riff Raff, and make
                    sure you bring back my little
                    Frankie to me before I croak.

                              RIFF RAFF
                    Frankie?  Frank 'N' Furter?  You
                    want me to find Frank 'N' Furter
                    and bring him back to you?

                              OLD QUEEN
                    Yes, yes, yes ... I want my
                    treasure, my heart's delight, my
                    only born back in these arms,
                    locked on to these breasts once
                    more before I go to my great
                    reward.

                              RIFF RAFF
                    But the fruit of your capacious
                    loins has not been heard of for
                    fifteen years or so ... He may be
                    ... ah ... busy ... he may not
                    want to come back.

                              OLD QUEEN
                    My cousin, Lord De Lordy will see
                    that you make it to the
                    transducer.  De Lordy.

     DE LORDY steps forward with a mocking grin which is meant for RIFF, he
     gives a slight bow.

                    &nb