THE

MOVIE NOVEL

CHAPTER EIGHT: BITCHIN' IN THE KITCHEN



Announcer (voice-over): It looks like Brad and Janet are heavily amazed today.  Here's some more prizes to amaze, here on Marriage Maze

Brad:   "Dear blender..."  Announcer (continued): "...You won't blend into the background with this in your home..."


Brad: "...Oh won't you help a first offender?  Oh, toaster..."


Announcer (continued): "...Pop up in the popularity ratings..." Brad: "...Don't you put the burn on me..."


Announcer (continued): "...Look at this..."


Brad: "...Refrigerator, why are we always sooner or later bitchin' in the kitchen or cryin' in the bedroom all night?"
Announcer (continued): "...Living on the knife edge..."


Brad: "Dear knife drawer..."                                                                                                                         f
        Announcer (continued): "...Stay sharp with this keen knife enhancer..."
f                                                                            Brad: "Now won't you help me to face life more?  Oh...."


Brad:  "...trashcan..."


        Announcer (continued): "...You can't can what the trashcan can..."                                                                    f
f                                                                             Brad: "...Don't you put the dirt on me.  Oh percolator..."


Brad: "...why are we always sooner or later..."                                                                                            f
Announcer (continued): "...No toil, no trouble..."
f                                                                   Brad: "...bitchin' in the kitchen or cryin' in the bedroom all night?"



Janet: "Everything used to be okay but I've been had. Brad, I'm glad to say, is on his way..."


Announcer (continued): "...Try a prize computerwise..."
Janet: "Micro-digital awaker, why are we always sooner or later bitchin' in the kitchen or cryin' in the bedroom all night?"



Janet: "Shower curtain..."                                       Announcer (continued): "...Wash those blues away..."


Janet: "...oh won't you help me to be certain? Oh..."


Janet: "...toothpaste, don't you put the squeeze on me."             Announcer (continued): "...arm yourself with good teeth..."


Janet: "Depilitator, why are we always sooner or later..."


Janet: "...cryin' in the bedroom all night?"


Announcer (voice-over): And now its back to Marriage Maze.  And for those of you who are Dentonvale watchers, here's our surprise guest.  Yes, and here's Bert!


Bert:  Hey folks, its Ricky from the rest home!                                           Ricky: Hey Bert!

Bert: Hey Ricky!


Ricky: "I've come for Mister Majors."


fffffffffBert: "Brad will learn how to care in a surgical chair!"   ffffff                      (Audience cheers at this joke)


Ricky:  Nothing, uh, serious I hope.                           Janet:  Oh no, no.  Just a routine checkup.


Bert:  Just a routine checkup, hey viewers?                                     (Crowd laughs, one exclaims "Yeah!")


Janet:  "Funny..."                                                                           f


Janet:  "Tell me spectator, why are we always sooner or later..."


Janet:  "...bitchin' in the kitchen or cryin' in the bedroom all night?"


Announcer (voice-over):  "Ha ha ha! Well, Bert's done it again..."


Announcer (voice-over):  "...another rocky marriage is headed for intensive care."


(Bert dances wildly)                                               Bert:  "The subject is committed..."


f                                                                                        Bert:  "...as are we all."